Breaking for a purpose

The day that changed my life, Oct. 12, 2008, will be a day I never forget. My life at the time was a tragic mess, this fateful day altered it for good and not so good.

I was hit by a drunk driver... Luckily  because of my seatbelt and the grace of God, I walked away from the accident, but not without a bitter reminder that would follow me for years after. The accident trauma triggered a disease called RSD/CRPS, a painful and debilitating disease (November happens to be RSD/CRPS Awareness month). This disease changed my life for the good because I saw my desperate need for God and my broken family at the time became whole again, but the mind-numbing, heartbreaking ride of my body constantly failing me was wearing me down. Even these 7 years later I still face effects of this tragic disease. 

Hold on, let's get this straight though, see what the devil tried to use to destroy me, God has used time and time again to bless our family and others. God will always turns tragic to triumph for you and His Kingdom!

So when I found out last year my RSD had come back and I was barely able to walk, I was scared, though I was faithfully aware God would turn it around! I mean I had gone into remission before, it could happen again! Though when I prayed, I kept praying and praying for healing, and it wasn't coming, I kept praying for the strength to do my calling too; that's when God took hold of my heart and said, "I am making you stronger, this is your calling, keep the faith." I realized then I was diving into deeper waters.

Today at church Char Blair came to speak at our church, and spoke about bitter waters and the branch that made them sweet. That no matter what bitter situation we face, with God's grace (Jesus) we can be the change agent. We can let God make our bitter situations sweet by allowing Him full access. Letting Him use our situation(s) to teach us, grow us, strengthen us for the battles ahead, or even inspire others in their battles. This  is what I believe God is doing in my life and has been doing these last couple years, and today it was confirmed! Now just to give God full access in all areas of my life; let me show His joy despite suffering, His patience despite my lack of patience at times, His endurance though I have wanted to give up more times than I can count. In order to minister to people who are broken in body, spirit and mind, God has to strengthening me for that call. To know what it is like in the trenches of desperation and weakness, to feel like giving up, but to know what it's like to overcome when I give God my hand to walk me through it. To be refined by fire, and have my bitter turned sweet!

This season I have continued to read Pslams and I keep reading a repeating theme, God hears the cries of those who love Him, He is strong and mighty, Overcoming our adversaries, He is our refuge and fortress and He will save us in the end. Hold on to those truths! Keep them in your heart, because even while your breaking God knows your purpose. Your breaking will be the breakthrough, I believe it! Amen!

God bless you all,

Shevonne Daley

Speeding Thru Life

Why is it we waste so much valuable time trying to speed from one season of our life to another? Most of us, myself included, get uncomfortable in the painful or slow growth seasons. We don't see the movement or the results we want right away. It could be society, but even if that is the case we as Christians have to learn to practice contentment and self-control. We must trust that in every single step, fast or slow, God is working things out for our good. Patience is one of the top needed attributes I believe besides forgiveness to really see the fruit from what God has planted in our purpose and calling.

Being content with where we are is partly acceptance and partly knowing who our God is! You must have faith that you will never lack when you have the God of the universes working on your side, no matter how it feels at that particular moment!

My husband works as the "safety" guy for an electric company but for telecommunications and one thing he teaches drivers is: that speeding to get to a destination faster is one of the most unsafe scenarios there is. To speed to get there faster usually only gets you there statistically 2 minutes faster!! So why risk your life and someone else's for the time it takes to park a car? Our travel times thru "seasons" are much the same, we rush the process and we not only don't learn the lessons we were intended to learn but it could possibly fail those we were meant to help with that lesson.

So slow down, enjoy God even in the hard stuff. Listen and stay calm! He really has it under control, promise!

Love and Prayers,

Shevonne

Why Me God?

I know I am not the only one who has ever asked this question. I could say I have all understanding of why I go through what I go through, but that of course would be a lie. What I can say though is every tear, every pain, all the grief, the hurt others had caused, ALL of it has been used in my life to show the goodness of God. You might wonder what I mean, how could God use grief for goodness? How can the thing that is breaking my heart at this very moment, be of any good?

Let me tell you just one story, but it is one of the most redeeming of my life. These last 7 years have been some of the hardest years I have ever lived, even after reconciling my life to God's hands completely, mending a rocky marriage, and getting counseling for past hurts, the last 7 years have stretched me in ways I never dreamed of. I think of a new mother pregnant for the first time, she has pains just because her body is growing to accommodate a growing baby, and eventually that pain too has meaning and goodness behind it.

In these last 7 years I had lost my Mom and Uncle to cancer, My Cousin (who was very dear to me like a brother) to suicide, My Stepfather (I called Dad) to a body broken by addiction, and My Grandfather to a failing heart while dealing with an early miscarriage the same week, and later that year found out I needed a hysterectomy. You could say during this time I also grieved my loss of "normal" living when I suffered a disease called RSD/CRPS.

When we lost Tony (our cousin) to suicide, My husband and I started a suicide prevention ministry called For the Broken.
We ran it for the last 5 years and it felt great to encourage and help others to hold on and chose life!
What I didn't realize is how much my pain and suffering opened my heart and eyes to the suffering of those I talked to and on every level; from those who contemplated suicide, to those suffering in body, some missing people they love who were now gone. God called some of us to endure, to keep strong faith in the middle of great suffering to be examples of strength and faith to others.

After the 5 years of doing ministry, we both knew God was calling us to Pastor an Online Interactive Church, we knew everyone was looking for hope, love and people to talk to. We hope to spread the Love of Jesus online. What I didn't realize is how well I would understand the brokenness so many different people are going through, it's all pain, but from different means. The most redemptive part is to use my broken and God-held-together life to minister to those who are close to me also.

Just this month I got to help my best friend of 22 years with the memorial of her mother. Her father had passed a few years prior, and because I know grief like this, I know this pain, I was able to help. I let God use me to help my very best friend. I got to tell her what grief looks like, and that most of what she is going through is totally normal. I got to cry with her, laugh over memories and be her strength and person to lean on. That is something so precious.

When we are in the midst of our pain we become very nearsighted, but as we walk further in the journey we truly see the usefulness of our pain.

One day I asked my husband, "Why do I go through all this pain? Why this broken body? Why can't I be "normal"? His response was perfect, "Because WE would never be able to reach the broken for Jesus." That is "why me",  God knew what we would endure, but he made a way for it to do good, and be good. The enemy can throw anything my way, and sure sometimes I do fear he will, but with God NO weapon formed against me shall prosper, instead only good will come from what the enemy decides to throw my way.

Hope this inspires you to be present in the midst of your pain, to hopefully one day share your story, or to be strengthened in your endurance and faith. Your story WILL inspire others to hold onto hope that they are not alone in their suffering, to show them someone has been there and God is indeed very near to the brokenhearted.

Much love and prayers
Shevonne